A month of mixed emotions …

It’s been a funny old February.

Fun versus fear in equal measures.

 

Fun because it has brought back such lovely memories from last year; my debut As Weekends Go being shortlisted for Choc Lit’s Search for a Star competition, on Valentine’s day no less, and the whole buzz of the following few weeks when I learned I’d won and was offered my contract.

Fear, because fast forward a year and I’m sitting here in the midst of what some of my writing colleagues have hinted could be post-publication blues.

Sound familiar?

I do hope so, as I’m beginning to worry that there’s something wrong with me. I mean, I’m hugely grateful to be published, so too for the tremendous support I received from everyone on  launch day and beyond, and have had some fantastic feedback on As Weekends Go and some cracking reviews.  I’m also very much enjoying the eyebrow-raising research I’m doing for Book 2.

So why do I feel a little flat?

I think it’s partly down to something  I knew I’d have to face head on, particularly after publication, yet  almost three months on, still brings me out in a cold sweat just uttering the words …

Self-promotion.   

I try to be positive in everything I do. I thoroughly enjoy chatting online with all my writerly buddies, being part of such a supportive ‘club’ so to speak , and am never more comfortable than when I am singing someone else’s praises. Yet, when it comes to tooting the horn for my own novel, I cringe. Even setting up my own blog was a massive step for me, which luckily a good friend helped me with. I love blogging with The Romaniacs but it’s a collective thing, so feels more relaxed.

I’ve  taken part in several Q&As with fellow authors and bloggers whom I can’t thank enough for featuring me, as it has given me more confidence. Joke is, I’ve conducted many author interviews, myself, over the years, which  I’ve LOVED. Then again I’ve been the one asking the questions…

It has made me quite sad at times as, like every other author, I poured my heart and soul into my book, and feel really proud that I finished it, yet can’t seem to fully celebrate promoting it.

I’ve been watching and learning, so perhaps in time it will become less scary, feel more natural.

I certainly hope so as it’s playing havoc with my mojo and if there’s one thing I love doing, it’s writing!

Any thoughts, dear friends? If not, chocolate will do! (Preferably buttons of the giant variety ;))

 

Love Jan X

 

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