Happy Birthday, Dad 💛 Miss you like mad.

This is my first post since October as shortly after writing that post, my lovely dad, who hadn’t been in the best of health for a few months, sadly passed away in hospital on November 26th 2020. I tried so hard to prepare myself for ‘that moment’, knew it was only a matter of time, but when the phone call came, the pain and shock was brutal, like nothing I’ve ever experienced. Thankfully Dave was with me, who has been immense in his love, strength and support. He loved Dad so much and has felt the loss tremendously.

Today would have been Dad’s 83rd birthday. It’s crazy to think that this time last year he looked healthier than he had in ages. Of course we were in Lockdown, so the celebrations were muted, even though we were still able to visit with cards and prezzies as long as we remained outdoors. Luckily we were blessed with sunshine.

Here’s Dad on his birthday last year, sitting with Mum on their driveway, delving into his gift bags.

Dad was always so pleased and grateful to receive any family presents. Little did he know the flurry of texts that would pass between me, Mum and my sisters beforehand about what on earth to get him. Whenever any of us personally asked him if there was anything he wanted, his stock answer would always be, with a little smile, “Not really. Keep your money. I’ve got everything I need.”

We’d ignore this (obviously) 💛

I’d give anything to be handing him his prezzie and card this year.

Since Dad passed away, our family has pulled together as it always does, especially around our dear Mum who’d been married to Dad for 62 and a half years. We’ve collectively shared countless photos, memories and poignant moments, such as Mum’s birthday and wedding anniversary plus other family birthdays, all firsts without Dad. As was Christmas (we did our best but none of our hearts were really in it).

Two special birthdays to mention. Youngest great-nephew Stanley’s 1st (unbelievable enough) and sister Sandra’s 60th (doubly unbelievable ).

Here’s Stan with Dad (on the left) and then on the right a photo of him on his 1st birthday this Feb. He’s a little ray of sunshine.

And here is sister Sandra celebrating ‘the big one’ looking as bright and sunny as ever.

Birthday Girl!

I’ve no writing updates for you this time around as I haven’t had any inclination to do any. Hopefully that will change.

Our garden is looking fab if I say so myself. It’s been a real project and although Dave must take credit for building all the structures, I have proudly played my part, mainly as chief digger, planter, seed-sewer and clearer and bagger upper. We bought a bird feeder and Dave made a bird box – a nod to Dad who loved watching his little garden birds. Bar Cosmopolita was Dad’s favourite bar from our Spanish holidays together. We’ve had a few visitors to the feeder, mainly blue tits, great tits and robins. I’m thrilled!

Blooms this time around are all from Dad’s funeral held just before Christmas. Dad’s favourite colour was yellow which featured heavily 💛

Whenever I feel the tears coming, I let them flow, rather than stifling them, as I believe it will help me to heal. As does chatting to Dad whether it be in my mind or out loud to one of his photos or when I feel his presence or hear a song that reminds me of him. Equally I take great comfort in the precious, joyful, loving and funny memories I have of Dad that make my heart squeeze and set me off laughing. They will stay with me forever.

Dad, I’m blessed to have had you in my life for 54 years and give thanks every day for all that you made me and all that you gave me.

Until we meet again.

All my love always,

Jan xx

Posted on April 27, 2021, in Jan's Posts. Bookmark the permalink. 16 Comments.

  1. Awwww Jan, sending love. Heal easy, I’m sure, once you are ready, the words will come again. Garden looking marvellous too! Xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. What a wonderful tribute to your dad who obviously lives so much in your memory and those of your family members. You only have to look at his birthday photos from last year to see what a lovely man he was. Sending very warmest wishes
    Natalie xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Such a lovely post, Jan – straight from the heart, (sums you up perfectly.)
    Lots of love. Xxxx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Jan that is such a lovely, heart felt post. ♥ I am sure Dad would be very proud and honored to read your memories about him. Thinking of you all today xx Love to all xx

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Dearest Jan, your family’s love and support of each other shines through in this blog post. Your dad sounds like a lovely man and how he and your mum brought you up is a testament to their love for each other and their dedicati0on to their family. Death of a loved one is a hard thing to get your head (and your heart around) and I know that your husband Dave has been a tower of strength through the last months. You know I am Stanley’s #1 fan and the fact that he knew your Dad’s love, even for a short time, will be the building bricks for his character.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. PS – the writing bug will return. Unusually, I don’t feel like writing ATM, either. You;ve had the double whammy of bereavement and lockdown to cope with. Small wonder your mojo has (temporarily ) left you.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Dear Jan, this is such a lovely, heartfelt and loving post – a testament to what a wonderful relationship you had with your dad. Am sending lots of love and hugs to you and your family. xx

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Beautiful, special post Jan. Your wonderful father will never leave you and although he is locked in your heart, his love will continue to shine through in everything you do. His heart is ‘bursting with pride’ something my Dad always said about my sister and I. xXX

    Liked by 1 person

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